So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize