strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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