3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
