I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
