I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
