I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
