You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
splinters make it hard to masturbate
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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