new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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