i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
