They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Randomize
