Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Its about making memories worth repressing
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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