your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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