What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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