from now on my penis is your penis
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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