One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
