I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
