I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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