Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Even my vagina gasped.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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