i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She tied me up with her honor cords...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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