she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
