Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
