Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wish i was in the wii world.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
