I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
