I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
