Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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