I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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