did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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