No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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