And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
