I wanna passion pit in your ass
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
