doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
