I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
