Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
