Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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