you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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