How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
