Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There's always time for handjobs
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize