Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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