Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
