Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
