There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
