That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
we have pet lesbian snakes
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
