Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
