So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
