Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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