Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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