i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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