laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize