Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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