We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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