do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
