I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
