i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
