the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
