im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
