FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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