well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
